Stop Leaving Bread Crumbs!!!

Years ago, a client struggled very hard for years to get out of a longtime abusive marriage.  After years of being sad, lonely, and miserable, she went back to school to re-tool, got a high-paying job to support herself and found a nice apartment in a secured building.  She had some close friends whom she rallied to come and move her while her husband was gone and, after an adrenaline filled afternoon, she was settled in.  For the first time in years, she felt a sense of peace and relief.

But that first night and days to follow, her husband called her phone constantly - though she didn't answer.  But the more he called, the more stressed she became.  She was encouraged to block his number to give herself time to 'detox' from his energy but she refused and would just sit and watch it ring.  She had moved to a different part of the city to lessen the chances of running into him but within days, rather than shop in her new neighborhood, she was driving six miles to the grocery store right around the corner from her previous home - where he still lived.  While the rest of us white-knuckled the next couple of weeks, she shopped, banked, and even went to lunch two blocks from his house.

It didn't take long for him to spot her car and follow her home.

Soon, he was waiting for her in the parking lot and began courting her back into the marriage.  Three weeks after getting out, she moved back in.  Within the next month, the curt words and abuse continued.  Only this time, he made it clear that since he had supported her for the first twenty years of their marriage, it was time she supported him - since he never agreed with her going to school in the first place.  She felt like and indentured slave, working by day, cooking and cleaning by night, and realizing that she would never be able to meet someone who would cherish her and treat her with the love and respect she deserved and so desired.  For the next several years, she was filled with regret and kicked herself for going back into his neighborhood to do her errands.  She is still in the marriage 20+ years later and things have not gotten better.

Please Don't Leave Breadcrumbs!

Leaving bread crumbs is a classic behavior that many do when trying to make a life-change but are moving into unfamiliar territory.  It is common for people to spend their whole lives with energy leaks that keep them from ever achieving their hearts true passions and goals simply because they are too afraid to travel a road that, for them, is uncharted.  So while they are trying to move forward and make the changes, they leave behind breadcrumbs so that the stars of their past drama and chaos (that they are trying to leave behind) can easily find them.


Basically, it is leaving the door open for the past and keeping a place to return to - even if it's an unhappy one - in case things don't work out.  But any time we leave breadcrumbs along the trail, we are communicating two messages. First, we are telling ourselves that we doubt our own ability to succeed in a new life.  Or perhaps it is an illusion and there really is nothing better for us.  Second, we send a message to those we are trying to move away from and the crumbs we leave says, "Come find me!  Save me from myself!  Bring me back to the familiar!  I really can't handle this!  I don't know what I'm doing!"  But the reality is, when a person releases people and things that create drama, pain, and heartache in their lives, and only allow in those who reciprocate their energy, things can't help but to get better.  Furthermore, getting rid of 'things' that hold us back can even make that trek easier.

So if you are trying to make changes in your life, STOP LEAVING BREADCRUMBS!  A great way is to prepare ahead of time for the change.   Find people who have walked that road - and succeeded - and ask them to help you tool up.  Ask what fears they had in advance, how they managed them, what obstacles came up, and what things to avoid.  Verbalize your own current 'what-if's' and ask them for advice.  Get yourself emotionally girded so that, once you are ready to activate your changes, your mind is set and you are focused only on moving forward rather than the familiar that you left behind.  Get to know 'where you are going' so well that it begins to feel familiar before you even embark on the journey.  Visualize where you want to go and the process of getting there - even the 'what-if's' and how you will overcome those bumps along the way.

"Man!  Why didn't I do this sooner?!?"

Put on your full armor and flush those breadcrumbs down the toilet before you even move forward!  Though there will still be struggles, you will be amazed at how quickly your vision begins to materialize when you continuously remove your obstacles to success, and at the people who will show up to walk you to your next step of the journey, many of whom have long desired to have this opportunity with you but were smart enough not to pour out their blessings while you were surrounded with vultures.  Let go!  Make room for the right people and things in your life!  Stop leaving breadcrumbs!!!  One day you will look back and ask yourself why you didn't do it sooner