The Energy Model of Therapeutic Change

As a child, we had a swamp in the weeds directly behind our house which was nothing more than a mosquito hatchery.  In the winter though, our neighbor boy worked very hard to turn it into a beautiful ice skating rink that we enjoyed for four months out of the year.  But come spring, the mosquitos made being outdoors unbearable and during those times we decided to explore the swamp, we found all kinds of discarded garbage and debris that really had no business being anywhere other than a toxic dumpsite.  Yet there was always some fool who decided that fishing in the swamp was a good idea and there were several who became severely sick after eating their catch. As a therapist and life coach, one of the biggest root sources that cause my clients distress is the fact that they fish in the swamp and the symptoms manifest in several - if not all - keylife areas.  Again, chaos in one keylife area will spill into the other ones.  There's no way around that and yo...

You've heard the saying, "Sick finds sick" and if we are among the lucky, we have only observed this in other people's lives, watching them jump from one toxic person to the next.  Then there are the unfortunate who finds themselves in one unhealthy situation after another, whether it's the friends they choose, personality conflicts at work, or in their romantic relationships.  As a therapist, many times over the years people would seem incredulous as they'd say, "How did I end up here again?" Well, let's back up here!  The real question is, " What is the payoff to you being a party in this toxic relationship"   That's right!  "What are you getting out of it?"  Years ago, I counseled a couple with severe marital problems and she was in her 5th marriage.  I ran into them at a Christmas concert and my practice of not acknowledging clients in public - for their privacy - went out the window when they came up to chat.  After...